am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
