Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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