Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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