Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
