Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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