i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
