Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The power of my boobs compel you
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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