this just has baby written all over it
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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