YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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