He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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