it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
