Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
