Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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