I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize