I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
