and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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