Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
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I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
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You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?