gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.