i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
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He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
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remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum