omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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