I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
