You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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