maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
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My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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