So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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