he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
