She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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