what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize