if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
