So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
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I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
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Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I deserve this hangover.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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