went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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