I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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