i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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