So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
