Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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