I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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