Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
she was so not down for the gang bang
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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