Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
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me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
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show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.