Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness