I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work