Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize