Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
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It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
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He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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