dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS