I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.