hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube