Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
