I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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