what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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