yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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