She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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