you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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