Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
