i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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