At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.