I'm gonna have a badass scar
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel