I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
