brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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