Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets