Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.