Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.