i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
she looked like the before picture.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.